Yep, I collect people. If you know me at all, I can assume you know this to be true. I hold on to people, often for way longer than their health "expiration date." I adore the diversity and variety of the people that I know - if my friends need something (from a new car to an unemployed plumber to an expert on short sales to a medium and anyone in between), I've usually got their answer just a phone call away.
See, I love knowing people - learning their story and being able to take something from their experiences and apply it to my own life. My mom likes to say that I've never met a stranger. Apparently when I was a little girl, she had to keep an extra close eye on me because I would wander off to have conversations with grown ups about the weather or Christmas or whatever happened to be on my pre-school mind. She was always scared that someone would scoop me up and steal me...but I'm pretty sure they would have brought me back once they discovered what my 5th grade teacher would later describe as "diarrhea of the mouth" a/k/a incessant chatter, constant talking, unending chitchat.
So, because of my hyper-social behaviors, I began people collecting. Over the years I have encountered many people with toxic relationships and friendships. They have people in their lives who are emotionally draining and exhausting to deal with. I can sympathize, but I am no good at giving advice on this topic.
My questions to you are: When do you know when it's time to let go of someone? When has the relationship (whether friendship, family member or acquaintance) has truly reached its expiration date?
Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts, I am truly very interested.
The expiration date is when that person makes you unhappy more than that make you happy. Now, with family I think the rules are a little different, cause you are pretty much stuck with them. I think the tolerance bar is a bit higher.
ReplyDeleteOh man, that is a great question. I have to agree with Bonsai76, when a person causes more unhappiness than happiness. Since Smitty joined the Army and we have moved multiple times this has been something we have had to ask ourselves way more than I would like. It may really hurt to give these relationships up, but sometimes it's worth it to not deal with the emotional trauma they caused.
ReplyDeleteUgh, no idea. I'm struggling with this on a couple levels. My philosophy is: if it is too much work to maintain, it is no longer worth the maintenance.
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